If you’ve been in church for any length of time, you’ve either heard or learned that LOVE is a verb. Love isn’t a noun or something you hold on to. Love isn’t love until you give it away.
Faith is similar. Faith isn’t just something you have or hold on to. Faith might be better understood as FAITHING. Faithing is a verb – an active process rather than a static state. We all know this. If our faith is the same as it was 10 years ago, something has gone wrong. Hopefully, your faith is stronger, more resilient, and deeper than it was in the past.
Faithing for young adults often means they’re renegotiating their beliefs as they encounter new experiences, learn new information, and even question their religious upbringings. This should not sound alarm bells. This should be good news!
Part of maturing in faith is owning one’s own faith that might be nuanced from the one they were raised in. For young adults, it can be especially intense and vulnerable work. The good news is that most will persevere and develop a faith that is reliable, able to keep up with their increasingly complex lives.
Many of us have experienced this in our own lives. We begin to question what our parents believed and what our “home” church has taught us. We began to put what we have been taught to the test. For some of us, we landed in the same place our parents or grandparents have believed. For others, you’ve landed somewhere different.
The truth is, part of faithing is doubting. For young adults, doubting is not rejecting faith, but trying to make sense of it. When faith is viewed as faithing, no one needs to panic and new conversations can emerge. Young adults often see doubting as being unfaithful but we can remind them that it’s not. Too often, we react negatively to diverging beliefs and questions and draw wrong conclusions that those expressing doubt have “lost their faith.” This is far from the truth.
When we accept the faithing of young adults, we acknowledge that they (and all of us) are in process. Questions, doubts, and differing views become welcomed topics for spiritual growth rather than religious threats. This shift opens up new possibilities for better conversations and relevant support.
Here is a question you can ask your young adult child or grandchild:
What is something you believe that you think I don’t (or our church doesn’t) believe?
I pray this question will lead to holy conversations!
